Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I love them, I love them not

Oregon Duck football! The team this year is rocking the house. Twenty straight victories at Autzen Stadium. The only loss this season to LSU. And have you seen the depth of that team?  Two star players are sidelined by injuries, yet the back-ups are every bit as good.

I should be happy.

I love Oregon Duck football. I just don't trust Oregon Duck football.

I became an Oregon fan in 1982.  Back in those days the Oregon football team was bad.  There were times where I thought the team got lost on the way to the stadium.  Fans' hopes and dreams were dashed year after year.  Each season ended with a litany of "would've, should've and could've" laments. Then something magical happened in the early 90s.  Things began to click. In 1994 the team went to the Rose Bowl.  The ROSE BOWL! This was huge for us die-hards who braved rain, wind, sleet, and darkness of night to support the team.  But the ups and downs continued through the 1990s.  Just when you got your hopes up, the team found some way to implode mid-way through the season. 

The team is really very good today.  But there is a part of me that can't forget the dismal seasons of years past.  There's a part of me afraid to get my hopes up for a national championship or even a Pac-12 championship.  What if they let me down again.  Will I just be disappointed?

It struck me that I have not been very willing to let the team change over the years.  In my mind - whether consciously or not - I've kept the image of the bumbling, fumbling, unable to execute team of the 1980s.  That's not really fair of me.  The team has worked hard over the years.  They've turned the corner. They have more than proved their desire and drive toward excellence.

I wonder in what other areas of my life have I failed to recognize change in a person?  Am I still holding friends or family to a certain expectation because that's what it use to be? 

Change is hard enough, especially change in our personal lives. I need to find ways to help others celebrate their changes, support those changes, and not force them back into a role they no longer need or want to play. 

Have you ever struggled with accepting and embracing a change in someone's life?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I will remember you

Birthday card mom left for dad
Epitaph, noun
  1. - an inscription on a tomb or gravestone in memory of the person buried there
  2. - a short composition in prose or verse, written as a tribute to a dead person






I wonder what my epitaph will be. I was thinking about that yesterday
as I strolled around the Willamette National Cemetery looking at the
markers on the Columbarium 5 wall. I thought it might be beloved daughter
and sister or maybe loyal and devoted friend.

But then I as I was looking at some of the sayings on the markers, I started smiling and then laughing. I found myself wanting to the know their story - wanting to know the person behind the name.

As I said when I started this blog, I love stories. And each one of
these epitaphs conjures all kinds of story possibilities.


FARRETTA, Thomas Albert. US Army - WWII, Korea, and Viet Nam
I am a soldier  

WAGGONER, Charles Albert. US Navy - Viet Nam
Cozmic jammer
BURKERT, Donna. US Navy - WWII
 Loved books, kids & nature

CARTWRIGHT, Farnandeze. US Army Air Corps - WWII
An ethical man
ARON, Morris. US Army - WWII
He sparkled
CAMPBELL, David Dean. US Air Force - Korea, Viet Nam
And that's that story
JONES, William. US Coast Guard
Just plain Bill
CLARK, Karl Edmund. US Army - Viet Nam
Shine on you crazy diamond

JOHNSON, Dale D. US Army - Korea
I love taters & gravy
SHIPMAN, Charles J. US Navy - WWII
I went to see for myself
HANABLE, William S. US Air Force - Viet Nam
Historian Dad

I thought about the family members and friends who came up with the epitahs for these people.  I appreciated how well they knew the man or woman and how they were able to sum up that person's life in a few words.  And I really think those short phrases speak volumes about the life at that person.

Mom said when she joins Dad in Columbarium 5, she wants to following added to the marker:  Holy shit! What a ride!  I'm not sure the staid Willamette National Cemetery will allow that complete sentiment, but I bet we can tweak it enough so that it works. 

And I think I know what I want: She kept us laughing until the end.